Visitation and the Holidays

Visitation and the Holidays
Posted on November 7, 2011 by admin

Thu Nov 10 12:08:29 PST 2011
Getting through the holidays with your ex

Shared custody can be tough on a regular basis, but during the holidays it’s even harder. Attorney Allyson Del Vecchio has a few tips to make it through the holidays with your ex and your kids.

Visitation and the Holidays

The holidays can be chaotic under the best of circumstances, however, when you are juggling the additional hurdle of children visiting with non-custodial parents, the holidays can become unbearable. For the sake of your sanity and the benefit of your children, remember these tips to ensure smooth transitions and maximum enjoyment.
1. Stay flexible. Even when you have a written plan, things change and unanticipated situations arise. The pre-planned pick up and drop off times may not work or it may be better to trade on a particular year depending on vacations or family in town. Staying flexible and cooperative can maximize your time with your child and ensure future goodwill.

2. Communicate. Parenting children is challenging when parents live together. It is especially challenging when they don’t get along, much less live together. Frequent, honest communication prevents misunderstandings and can make the holidays easier on everyone. Be prepared to make some concessions and ask for concessions in return.

3. Focus on your child. Instead of focusing on the dynamics between you and your ex or how s/he “always gets his/her way” Think about how you can make the holidays as fun and fulfilling as possible for your child. Most children want and need a relationship with both parents and both sides of extended family. Think about ways you can support that relationship while persevering and furthering your own.

Finally, when originally coming up with a plan or in times of serious or ongoing disagreement, it’s a good idea to consult an attorney. Other times to see an attorney include: If there is an in-balance of power within the relationship, if one person is withholding parenting time or alienating the other parent. Family law attorneys have had the advantage of seeing the good, the bad, and the ugly. Many times we can anticipate problems or make suggestions to solve problems and deescalate conflicts.